SmS
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Welcome To the world of fun |
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When flood comes, fish eat ants & when flood recedes, ants eat fish. Only time matters. Just hold on, God gives opportunity to everyone! | Try is a small word that makes a lot of difference. If we try, we only risk failure. But if we don't even try we ensure it. |
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There's a strain of virus deadlier than H1N1. It afflicts most married men causing speech impairment, stress, high B.P and fits of rage. There's no cure in sight and it stays with the victim forever. It's called B1W1(Wife). | One day Santa's girlfriend asks him, "darling, on our engagement will you give me a ring?" Santa:Ya sure, Give me your telephone number. |
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Santa: What is the difference between `complete and finish`? Banta: When you marry the right person you are complete and when you marry the wrong one you are finished! | `Search a beautiful heart, but don't search a beautiful face'. Coz beautiful things are not always good, but good things are always beautiful. |
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Day 1: grandma wears a thin dress grandpa ignored. Day 2: grandma wears bikini grandpa shocked. Day 3: grandma came naked. Grandpa: Darling at least iron your dress. | A lady calls Santa for repairing her door bell. Santa doesn`t turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out. |
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Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl. | It`s not important to hold all the good cards in life. But it`s important how well you play with the cards which you hold. |
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Often when we lose all hope & think this is the end, God smiles from above and says, `relax dear its just a bend. Not the end. Have Faith and have a successful life. | A gay donated a huge money to the church. Happy priest to the gay: `You can select 3 hymns.` Immediately the gay stood up, pointed to three men, and said: `Him, him, and him!` |
Santa and Banta in the US eating hotdogs for the first time. Santa opens the bread, looks inside, feels embarrassed, and asks Banta, Which part of the dog did you get? | One of the basic differences between God and human is, God gives, gives and forgives. But human gets, gets, gets and forgets. Be thankful in life! |
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Santa to a Wise man: Why did God make women so beautiful? Wise Man: So that you will love them. Santa: But why did God make them so dumb? Wise Man: So that they will love you. | Yoga teacher to a woman: Has yoga any effect over your husband's drinking habit?
Woman: Yes, an amazing funny effect! Now he drinks the whole bottle standing upside down over his head. |
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Santa: Do you know English? Banta: Yes Santa: Ok! Then tell me what is the opposite of Naag Panchami? Banta: So simple Naag do not punch me. | Sometimes apologizing doesn`t mean that you are wrong and the other is right. It only means that you value the relationship much more than your ego! |
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Bittu: Dad, are u getting taller? Banta: No, why do u ask? Bittu: Because your head is growing through your hair! | History teacher: From where to where did the Mughals ruled? Santa: Sir, I am not sure but I think from page 15 to page 26. |
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Pappu: Dad, how much is 5+5? Santa: You dumb. You don`t know this! Go and get a calculator. | Santa to Jeeto: I am going out for five days. Jeeto: Ok, but don't surprise me by coming back early, otherwise you will be surprised. |
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Indian: I have 4 sisters and 3 brothers. What love you? American: I have no sister or brother but I have four Moms from first dad and five dads from my first mom. | Santa: Look at these bills: rent, telephone, electricity, shopping, etc. The costs are going up on all of them. I would be very happy if just one thing went down. Pappu: Dad, see my report card. |
| Judge: Why were u arrested? Santa: For shopping early. Judge: Well, that?s not a crime. Anyway, how early were u shopping? Santa: Before the shop opened. | Wife running after a garbage truck: Am I too late for the garbage? Hubby following her yelled: Not Yet. Jumpppp Innnn Fastttt. |
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An aeroplane asks a rocket: How is that you can fly so fast? The rocket replies you will know the pain when they put fire at your ass! | Santa: Will U marry, after I die. Jeeto: No, I will live with my sister. Jeeto: Will U marry, after I die. Santa: No, I will also live with your sister. |
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In this world, every wife is a mistress to her husband. One hour of Miss and 23 hours of stress! | Slam book filled by Santa. Strength: My wife, Jeeto. Weakness: Banta?s wife, Preeto. Opportunity: When Banta is on tour. Threat: When I am on tour. |
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Santa: Why are you crying? Banta: The elephant is dead. Santa: Was he your pet? Banta: No, but I'm the one who has to dig his grave. | Santa: Dear son, this time you have to get at least 95% marks. Pappu: No dad, I will get 100% this time. Santa: Why are u making a joke? Pappu: Who started first? |
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Banta: Have you ever seen a lie detector? Santa: Yes, I married her! | Wife (standing in front of mirror) I am fat, old, wrinkled, and no longer pretty. Will you still give me a romantic compliment? Funny Husband: Your eyesight is still excellent! |
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Santa cuts sides of the capsule before taking it? Guess why? To avoid the side effects! | Preeto: Look a thief has entered our kitchen and he is eating the cake I made. Banta: Whom should I call now, Police or Ambulance |
When flood comes, fish eat ants & when flood recedes, ants eat fish. Only time matters. Just hold on, God gives opportunity to everyone! |
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| Try is a small word that makes a lot of difference. If we try, we only risk failure. But if we don't even try we ensure it. |
|
There's a strain of virus deadlier than H1N1. It afflicts most married men causing speech impairment, stress, high B.P and fits of rage. There's no cure in sight and it stays with the victim forever. It's called B1W1(Wife). |
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One day Santa's girlfriend asks him, "darling, on our engagement will you give me a ring?" Santa:Ya sure, Give me your telephone number. |
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Santa: What is the difference between `complete and finish`? Banta: When you marry the right person you are complete and when you marry the wrong one you are finished! |
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Search a beautiful heart, but don't search a beautiful face'. Coz beautiful things are not always good, but good things are always beautiful. |
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Day 1: grandma wears a thin dress grandpa ignored. Day 2: grandma wears bikini grandpa shocked. Day 3: grandma came naked. Grandpa: Darling at least iron your dress. |
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A lady calls Santa for repairing her door bell. Santa doesn`t turns up for 4 days. Lady calls again, Santa replies: I'm coming daily since 4 days, I press the bell but no one comes out. |
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Teacher: What should be in a book to make it a bestseller? Pappu: A girl on the cover and no cover on the girl. |
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It`s not important to hold all the good cards in life. But it`s important how well you play with the cards which you hold. |
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2 Hijade ek shaadi ki badhai dene gaye.
Haye haye main to 1100 lungi.
Dusri Boli main to 2100 lungi.
Peeche se Santa bola Abey 2310 le lo usme FM bhi hai!!!
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Interviewer: What is skeleton?
Santa: Skeleton is a person who started dieting but forgot to stop it..!!
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